[He sighs and glances away. He could have - but he was afraid that Kazuya would try to find a way to get out of it. Possibly a foolish fear, but one he had regardless.]
Perhaps. I'd tried thinking of all of the angles that could have been taken, all the approaches that could have been tried.
... I didn't mean to make you suffer any more than what was necessary.
[On both counts. He also doesn't think of Naoya as "Cain", quite frankly. He is Naoya, and will always be Naoya to him.]
Either way, it's already spilled that you're Cain, but I'd like at least a little more tact when it comes to myself and Abel. It's why I got ahead of the SLEEPR program and posted my own stuff. I don't care if someone figures it out on their own, but I don't want you to go around telling people.
I was doing just fine on working with what I had until you showed up and threw a wrench into everything. I'm still kicking you out, by the way. You abandoned me, so I'm abandoning you.
[... He's referring to when Naoya left to get his own place away from him and left him all on his lonesome.
They grow up so quick, or something.]
I'm doing great at this whole living on my own thing. I'm not going to let you spoil it for me.
[He's about to say that he didn't plan this before he huffs and realizes what his meaning is.]
Well, if you do need anything, I'll be around. I'm not too far. Not that I think you need anything from me. Or if you want to pester me.
[His cottage is... somewhat run down, but he's working on it. Physical labor isn't great to do with this body, but he's doing his best.]
... This is a new chance. I won't ask you to be on the lookout for things that would be helpful for me, but if you do care to share, I'm around. Aside from that...
[He looks his cousin up and down. Abel really has turned into a new person...]
Just be sure to eat properly. Don't let me set a bad example.
I'm kicking you out, not cutting you of. If you want to borrow some demons to help you out in the manual labour department, just say so. And I already said you can use my stuff so long as you work on getting your own in order.
[Jeeze, he's not heartless.]
And don't even talk to me about eating properly. You know I can cook just fine.
Nothing that hasn't happened before. The hair ruffling has happened too, and the weight of it is familiar and comforting.
Or would be, if not for the weight that isn't just physical. The intent behind it. The fact that he knows now that Naoya sees him as the brother he murdered and regrets. How much of the afrection he recieved was actually for him, and not just Abel?
He runs his tongue against his teeth nervously as something imperceptible twinges deep inside him.
He'll unpack that later, in private. He's already given permission, after all. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Perhaps. I'd tried thinking of all of the angles that could have been taken, all the approaches that could have been tried.
... I didn't mean to make you suffer any more than what was necessary.
no subject
[Kazuya shakes his head, sighing.]
Not that it matters to you. There isn't really a difference between us, is there?
[Though he still doesn't think of himself as Abel in the slightest.]
no subject
Yes and no. It's not like the difference between 'Naoya' and 'Cain'.
no subject
[On both counts. He also doesn't think of Naoya as "Cain", quite frankly. He is Naoya, and will always be Naoya to him.]
Either way, it's already spilled that you're Cain, but I'd like at least a little more tact when it comes to myself and Abel. It's why I got ahead of the SLEEPR program and posted my own stuff. I don't care if someone figures it out on their own, but I don't want you to go around telling people.
no subject
[He's a little annoyed by it, but what's done is done.]
... At least people aren't horrified or something of that nature. So that bodes well. I think.
no subject
[Ha ha. He's saying that to be a shit, but it's not necessarily untrue either. It's annoying, obnoxious, but a necessary evil all the same.]
no subject
Probably not, but we'll see how it goes. We work with what we've got.
no subject
[... He's referring to when Naoya left to get his own place away from him and left him all on his lonesome.
They grow up so quick, or something.]
I'm doing great at this whole living on my own thing. I'm not going to let you spoil it for me.
no subject
Well, if you do need anything, I'll be around. I'm not too far. Not that I think you need anything from me. Or if you want to pester me.
[His cottage is... somewhat run down, but he's working on it. Physical labor isn't great to do with this body, but he's doing his best.]
... This is a new chance. I won't ask you to be on the lookout for things that would be helpful for me, but if you do care to share, I'm around. Aside from that...
[He looks his cousin up and down. Abel really has turned into a new person...]
Just be sure to eat properly. Don't let me set a bad example.
no subject
[Jeeze, he's not heartless.]
And don't even talk to me about eating properly. You know I can cook just fine.
no subject
[He's still his brother, but it's just... he's not sure how much Kazuya feels that way now.]
no subject
[Until someone else figures out their true relationship, anyway.]
no subject
[He reaches out and ruffles his brother's hair.]
no subject
Nothing that hasn't happened before. The hair ruffling has happened too, and the weight of it is familiar and comforting.
Or would be, if not for the weight that isn't just physical. The intent behind it. The fact that he knows now that Naoya sees him as the brother he murdered and regrets. How much of the afrection he recieved was actually for him, and not just Abel?
He runs his tongue against his teeth nervously as something imperceptible twinges deep inside him.
He'll unpack that later, in private. He's already given permission, after all. ]
I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't.
no subject
[He smooths down the other's hair and steps back. There's a hint of fondness in his eyes - and then it's back to his usual neutral expression.]
Is there anything else you need right now?
[He'll go if the other wants him to, but he wouldn't be opposed to staying.]
no subject
[He glances quickly to the living room, away from Naoya for more reasons than one.
He doesn't want to see that fondness he's unsure of, because he'll never know whether it's for him or someone who's dead.]
You can stay as long as you like right now. I'll put on lunch for us.
no subject
[He's always taken care of Abel and whoever's inherited part of his soul wherever possible. The few times he's been saved by an Abel... it hurt.]
[But that's a different story. Not the one that's being told now, and not the one they need to look at.]
All right. I'll -
[No, he gets the sense that Kazuya needs a few moments.]
I'll just go sit down.