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OPEN SEASON

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18 / Male / Bi / King♠︎

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My Self-Summary

(Weiss Schnee wrote all of this, and literally none of it is accurate. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm too lazy to change it, though. It's good for a laugh, I guess! I'm just a regular guy, thanks.)

Yo! My name's Kazuya Minegishi. I'm just your average boy... or so I thought! As it turns out, my world has a demon infestation problem, and guess who got roped into taking care of it? That's right. It's your boy.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm no hero. I'd rather be listening to cool music on my MP3 player than summoning demons. But hey, when the fate of the world and my friends is on the line, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.

Pretty cool, right? I'm so cool. I've since ascended to the throne and become the King of Demons. All the demons in the world now bow to me. I may look like a lanky boy, but I've got so much power and hunger for human souls.

My Future Plans

To rise up the ranks, of course! I currently live in the worst room possible, and it is my goal to take me and my friends to the top.

My Talents

Yo, they call me the King of Rap, the polymath prodigy,
Got skills so diverse, I'm a one-man symphony.
Chess boards tremble at my touch, kings bow to my gambits,
Checkmate in five, your intellect scattered in fragments.
But strategy ain't the only language I speak,
Fifty tongues on lock, conversation unique.
Mandarin to Maori, Farsi to French, I flow,
Every syllable a weapon, watch the knowledge overthrow.

Books devour me whole, knowledge my fuel,
IQ off the charts, Einstein eat your drool.
Philosophy dissected, science on my tongue,
History dances with future, a symphony unsung.
But don't mistake me for a brainiac in a gown,
My skills ain't confined to academia's crown.
Kitchen's my canvas, flames my brush, I paint,
Flavors explode, palates sing, no culinary complaint.
And when the chaos reigns, I'm the hurricane's eye,
Dust bunnies tremble, grime surrenders with a sigh.

This ain't just brag, it's a testament to life,
Each talent a facet, cutting through the strife.
Mind sharp as a rapier, words sharper than knives,
My bite ain't for aggression, it's wisdom that thrives.
So come one, come all, test the multi-faceted skill,
Board games or Babel, I'll conquer with will.
Renaissance Rap ain't a title, it's a soul unbound,
Where knowledge and passion in a masterpiece are found.

Favorite Books, Movies, Music, and Food

Forget books, music, and food. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!

Buckle up, because you're about to witness the wildest flight of your life - a honey-soaked, pollen-powered fever dream where bees sue humans for stealing their syrup! Imagine this: a world buzzing with disgruntled pollinators, led by a rogue honeybee with a taste for jazz and a bone to pick with Big Sugar. Picture him, wings slicked back with rebellious swagger, delivering courtroom diatribes against greedy humans harvesting their golden nectar.

Get ready for courtroom antics that would make a hornet laugh, with witness stands overflowing with jittery bumblebees and nervous ants. See bees in disguise infiltrate honey factories, unleashing chaos with pollen bombs and sticky sabotage. Witness epic courtroom showdowns, where the fate of a jar of honey hangs in the balance, and one sassy bee's rap skills hold the key to unlocking freedom for his buzzing brethren. So grab your pollen basket and prepare for a cinematic trip so bonkers, it'll leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about honey... and jazz.

My Ideal Partner

She is the winter's whisper, a breath of cool defiance in a world ablaze. Her beauty is sculpted ice, sharp angles softened by the ghost of a smile. Her eyes, the color of a glacier's heart, hold depths both chilling and captivating, promising untold stories etched in frost.

Her strength isn't the blaring anthem of a warrior, but the quiet hum of resilience, a willow that bends but never breaks. Her mind, a labyrinth of icy intellect, houses a cunning that outmaneuvers the mightiest storms. Yet, beneath the glacial facade lies a hidden well of empathy, a warmth that thaws frozen hearts with the gentle grace of a spring thaw.

She is a paradox, a symphony of contradictions played on the strings of fate. A creature of both elegance and grit, where icy brilliance dances with the raw power of a blizzard. She is the woman who walks through fire, not unscathed, but ever more resplendent for the kiss of the flames.

She is, quite simply, unforgettable. And though the world may try to confine her, to label her as fragile or cold, she will forever be the untamed spirit, the whisper of winter that carves its own path through the storm.

Though, I suppose anyone with similar traits will do. I'm very easy!

Height 6 feet Body Type Sexy and muscular 💪 rawr Smokes Smokes DEMONIC ENERGY Drinks water Drugs Just the ones in the food here Sign demons don't have birthdays Education Smart Occupation The King of Demons Income A lot Children NONE Pets The fifty million demons under my command Hobbies Writing poems, reading books, listening to music, playing video games

art credit: one. two. three. four. five.

01. WINE OR BEER

Wine. I'm very classy.

.02 CLOWNS OR MIMES

No one would want to choose either of these choices

.03 SHOWER OR BATH

Hot showers with others ;)

.04 PIRATES OR NINJAS

Ninjas

.05 TITS OR ASS

Breasts in my hands and my penis in someone's ass

.06 COFFEE OR TEA

None

.07 SPICY OR SWEET

Spicy

.08 SUMMER OR WINTER

Winter

.09 LEATHER OR LACE

Leather. I'm a very, very bad demon!!!

10. ROUGH SEX OR GENTLE SEX

The one where there's biting ;)

Personality Type
ESTP-A

ENERGY52%
EXTRAVERTED
MIND66%
OBSERVANT
NATURE61%
THINKING
TACTICS58%
PROSPECTING
IDENTITY68%
ASSERTIVE

personality test. art credit.

hover for rating.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

[He was making a free use joke.... Nah, never mind.]

Don't worry about it. The showers clean and ready for whenever you want it. I've already had mine today.

[bro shinji is stupid, he probably thought it meant like favourite showerhead or fancy soap or some shit.]

thanks man
i'll be up in a bit.

Door should be open for you.

[And Kazuya is just going to be lazing on the couch.... one leg literally up over the side of it. He looks so, so comfy...]

[Cool, cool, this is absolutely just borrowing someone's King rank shower situation to wash the dirt and grime and god knows what else from being forced to camp in the woods for like three weeks. Definitely not to like. Just make sure things are still chill between him and Kazuya. If you don't talk about things, they don't exist! It's fine don't even worry about it.

It's probably like ten minutes before he knocks as a brief warning and lets himself in. And damn, Kazuya does look comfy, sprawled like that. Good signs, probably!]

Glad I'm not interrupting anything.

[And while Shinjiro's at least changed clothes, he's still a goddamn mess. After all, they basically only just got let back into the Resort proper after sleeping on pine needles for a while. He doesn't want to think about what a pain its gonna be to get the tangles and shit out of his hair.]

Want me to grab you anything while I'm up? [because he has absolutely done Couch Lazing like that and someone else getting you a drink or whatever is great. Also he's gotta do something to feel like he's paying Kazuya back for his shower usage.]

[You know who didn't have to sleep on pine needles? Kazuya, who had his big, comfy, glamping tent.

But he waves his hand at Shinji as he enters, and then again as he asks him if he wants anything while he's up.]

Nah. But you know you can change your room to be however you like it, yeah? If you wanted a nice shower, you just gotta harass the staff for it.

[His brows come together, almost as if not understanding what Kazuya had said. Just... harass the staff and change up his shit room? The same staff that looks half like they want to spit on him sometimes?]

Yeah, I'm... Not sure it works like that.

[It probably does for people like Kazuya and Mitsuru? Still, it's worth asking, if only so he can get a bed that's actually sized for a normal human who isn't 5'5".]

Which staff: front desk?

Yeah, the front desk should take care of that. And yeah, it absolutely works like that.

[Especially since Shinjiro is a king rank? Honestly he could probably harass any of the staff just walking by and they'd trip over themselves to give him a new setup that exactly matches his specifications.]

[Shinjiro's pressing X to doubt so hard. Having the perople here just cater to him sounds like something they'd do for Mitsuru, but not for any of the lowest ranks shoved down in the basement as though they're eyesores.]

I think if they'd do that for me, I wouldn't still be washing my own sheets. Getting spoiled up here so long must've messed with your expectations.

[This feels like when he, Akihiko, and Mitsuru had all moved into the dorm for the first time all over again. Mitsuru's absolute surprise at Normal Living Situations, without an entire fleet of maids to take care of everything.]

That'd be nice, though.

You're washing your own sheets...? Are you serious?

[That doesn't make sense... Unless he's washing them literally every day or any time he has sex on his bed or whatever? Maybe he's just really anal about that sort of cleanliness?

He moves, sitting up to actually have an Actual Conversation now.]

Are you just overwashing them or something?

[??????]

Yeah? I don't think housekeeping has come once since I got here. Like they keep the bath decent and stocked, but that's it.

[bless Kazuya for thinking shinjiro's actually having sex in that closet. He moves a hand to his hip. They are absolutely talking about two very different things.]

Okay: where do you think I'm staying?

... On this floor, somewhere?

[???]

[????? why the hell would kazuya think that]

Why the hell would I be borrowing your shower all the time if I did? [idk shinji maybe its your weird way of flirting-]

I'm in the lowest basement floor. I don't even have my own shower. Hell, I don't even have my own dresser. What gave you that idea?

... Wait, seriously?

[Then where the hell....]

What suit are you, then? Lemme see-

[He's already getting up to go fuss over and strip the other just to get a look at the mark. He's not above using a little demonic muscle to get what he wants!!!]

What- hey??

[Kazuya is up and closing the distance and tugging at his clothes, and maybe that's?? What he gets for the whole monster transformation thing. He bats at Kazuya's hand, which is exactly as effective as you would expect against the Demon King Of Hell.]

Fuck off, you could just ask??

[Thankfully (??) he doesn't require too much stripping?? Kazuya only has to fight the turtleneck off of him to see the pale pink diamond on the side of his throat. It's located like a trashy redneck gangster tattoo. Real classy.]

Edited 2025-10-03 16:52 (UTC)

[He stares at the suit where it lays. Not because he thinks it's trashy, because he knows you don't exactly get a choice on where it goes, but because it's very pointedly, decidedly, not a heart mark.]

Huh.

[He frowns. His hands drop down to his hips.]

I thought you were a hearts...

[once again: ??????]

[He huffs in annoyance, balling up his turtleneck and tucking it under an arm. Whatever, he's planning on taking a shower anyway, so there's no point in putting it back on just to take it right back off again.]

Yeah, and you thought I was way higher in rank, too. What gave you that idea?

Edited (missing bracketssssss) 2025-10-03 17:49 (UTC)

You were the only one whos rank and suit I didn't know. For some reason I have a King of Hearts card? But I don't know anyone with that rank and suit that comes to mind.

[And he's sure he would have been told if one of his friends had ranked up...]

[Huh. A card he doesn't remember getting?]

That's... alarming. [Par for this place, sure. But the idea of shacking up with someone and having absolutely no clue or recollection of it makes his skin crawl. Even while the House sometimes hijacks their minds and bodies, to his knowledge it doesn't completely erase anything???]

You missing any time or something? Or any chance the watch just fucked up?

[Is it alarming? He really is more curious than worried. Maybe he's just been here too long? But he'd also just like to know so that he could talk to this mysterious king of hearts. Was he at least a good fuck? The other person has to remember something, surely!]

Nah, not missing any time. And I've never known the watch to fuck up and mislabel someone... I know plenty of people who are Hearts, but not Kings...

You fuck any of the new people? If it's like it was for me, they probably didn't get a card until we got back. Might have just updated.

[This sure is A Mystery. It's good that Kazuya isn't losing time or having blackout periods or anything where he goes off and has sex with strangers, but it sure does cut down some options.]

I don't think I had sex with anyone new?

[... Did he? He really, really can't remember. Everyone he had sex with he's pretty sure he already knew.]

Ah... It's probably not that important. Go have your shower, I'll try and think on it a little more.

[....bro what do you mean it's not important. Then again, maybe after so long in this place it really isn't. Either way, Kazuya can decide how he feels, and Shinjiro won't argue it.]

One card closer, I guess. Yeah, thanks, man.

[He is going to use all the fucking hot water, sorry bro]

[ Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, he is one card closer regardless, so even if he can't put a name and face to the card he's got, it's not like it's an overall bad thing either.

He pats Shinjiro's back. ]

Have fun. Feel free to soak in the onsen after, if you want. Maybe I'll join you?

[... It does sound pretty comfy. He's already had his morning shower, so maybe a nice soak might ease everything and let him think too. ]

[Right. Kazuya has an entire fucking onsen in his suite. It's not worth the hassle of all the attention and random fans and whatever else the royal ranks have to deal with, but it is a pretty sweet set up they have here.]

Yeah, actually. Sounds good.

[And it's not like he had much else planned for the day. Or any day, for that matter. So yeah: spending a good half hour scrubbing the outdoors off him is pretty great. And the heat of the onsen will probably do wonders to help with the fucking mosquito bites all over his ankles. So sure enough, whenever Kazuya decides to go to his onsen, Shinjiro will be lounging in the hot water there, sunken low with his head tipped back against the edge.

He does half-open his eyes, though, tilting his head just to confirm that, yes, Kazuya entering is what he'd heard, and offers:]

You guys's rooms really are crazy, you know. Just magic, clean hot spring water, all the time.

Yeah, there are crazier rooms than mine, honestly. I tried to keep mine fairly tame and simple.

[ He says as he lowers himself into the heated water, resting hisbown head against the side. It really is convenient, having an on-demand hotspring. How did he even live like a person before he was King rank anyway? ]

It's really nice to just have a soak after the really rough stuff... I mean, I heal from pretty much any and everything, but it's still nice.