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18 / Male / Bi / King♠︎
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(Weiss Schnee wrote all of this, and literally none of it is accurate. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I'm too lazy to change it, though. It's good for a laugh, I guess! I'm just a regular guy, thanks.)
Yo! My name's Kazuya Minegishi. I'm just your average boy... or so I thought! As it turns out, my world has a demon infestation problem, and guess who got roped into taking care of it? That's right. It's your boy.
Don't get me wrong-- I'm no hero. I'd rather be listening to cool music on my MP3 player than summoning demons. But hey, when the fate of the world and my friends is on the line, a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do.
Pretty cool, right? I'm so cool. I've since ascended to the throne and become the King of Demons. All the demons in the world now bow to me. I may look like a lanky boy, but I've got so much power and hunger for human souls.
To rise up the ranks, of course! I currently live in the worst room possible, and it is my goal to take me and my friends to the top.
Yo, they call me the King of Rap, the polymath prodigy,
Got skills so diverse, I'm a one-man symphony.
Chess boards tremble at my touch, kings bow to my gambits,
Checkmate in five, your intellect scattered in fragments.
But strategy ain't the only language I speak,
Fifty tongues on lock, conversation unique.
Mandarin to Maori, Farsi to French, I flow,
Every syllable a weapon, watch the knowledge overthrow.
Books devour me whole, knowledge my fuel,
IQ off the charts, Einstein eat your drool.
Philosophy dissected, science on my tongue,
History dances with future, a symphony unsung.
But don't mistake me for a brainiac in a gown,
My skills ain't confined to academia's crown.
Kitchen's my canvas, flames my brush, I paint,
Flavors explode, palates sing, no culinary complaint.
And when the chaos reigns, I'm the hurricane's eye,
Dust bunnies tremble, grime surrenders with a sigh.
This ain't just brag, it's a testament to life,
Each talent a facet, cutting through the strife.
Mind sharp as a rapier, words sharper than knives,
My bite ain't for aggression, it's wisdom that thrives.
So come one, come all, test the multi-faceted skill,
Board games or Babel, I'll conquer with will.
Renaissance Rap ain't a title, it's a soul unbound,
Where knowledge and passion in a masterpiece are found.
Forget books, music, and food. LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!
Buckle up, because you're about to witness the wildest flight of your life - a honey-soaked, pollen-powered fever dream where bees sue humans for stealing their syrup! Imagine this: a world buzzing with disgruntled pollinators, led by a rogue honeybee with a taste for jazz and a bone to pick with Big Sugar. Picture him, wings slicked back with rebellious swagger, delivering courtroom diatribes against greedy humans harvesting their golden nectar.
Get ready for courtroom antics that would make a hornet laugh, with witness stands overflowing with jittery bumblebees and nervous ants. See bees in disguise infiltrate honey factories, unleashing chaos with pollen bombs and sticky sabotage. Witness epic courtroom showdowns, where the fate of a jar of honey hangs in the balance, and one sassy bee's rap skills hold the key to unlocking freedom for his buzzing brethren. So grab your pollen basket and prepare for a cinematic trip so bonkers, it'll leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about honey... and jazz.
She is the winter's whisper, a breath of cool defiance in a world ablaze. Her beauty is sculpted ice, sharp angles softened by the ghost of a smile. Her eyes, the color of a glacier's heart, hold depths both chilling and captivating, promising untold stories etched in frost.
Her strength isn't the blaring anthem of a warrior, but the quiet hum of resilience, a willow that bends but never breaks. Her mind, a labyrinth of icy intellect, houses a cunning that outmaneuvers the mightiest storms. Yet, beneath the glacial facade lies a hidden well of empathy, a warmth that thaws frozen hearts with the gentle grace of a spring thaw.
She is a paradox, a symphony of contradictions played on the strings of fate. A creature of both elegance and grit, where icy brilliance dances with the raw power of a blizzard. She is the woman who walks through fire, not unscathed, but ever more resplendent for the kiss of the flames.
She is, quite simply, unforgettable. And though the world may try to confine her, to label her as fragile or cold, she will forever be the untamed spirit, the whisper of winter that carves its own path through the storm.
Though, I suppose anyone with similar traits will do. I'm very easy!
Wine. I'm very classy.
.02 CLOWNS OR MIMES
No one would want to choose either of these choices
.03 SHOWER OR BATH
Hot showers with others ;)
.04 PIRATES OR NINJAS
Ninjas
.05 TITS OR ASS
Breasts in my hands and my penis in someone's ass
.06 COFFEE OR TEA
None
.07 SPICY OR SWEET
Spicy
.08 SUMMER OR WINTER
Winter
.09 LEATHER OR LACE
Leather. I'm a very, very bad demon!!!
10. ROUGH SEX OR GENTLE SEX
The one where there's biting ;)
ESTP-A
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You're a demon. If you're giving your word for anything at all, it should be a contract, and it's always better to get it in writing—otherwise, you could be at risk of someone twisting your words against you.
Wait
How many contracts have you even made, exactly?
( how much of a mess are we talking here )
1/2
Though demons also sell their services for Macca through an auction house too. Though I told you that much.
And it's only the one!
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Maybe two?
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They are, but that just makes them more dangerous. Verbal contracts tend to have more room for interpretation than written ones. Accounting for all variables is why written contracts tend to be safer.
( it's..... very upsetting how long it takes kazuya to remember that the number is two
no, not two. maybe two. )
You don't even know how many contracts you're bound by right now???
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[Yeesh... He's really getting it, isn't he?]
Pretty sure it's only two. Kotone and Weiss.
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that having been said, they can also be dreadfully dangerous for the foolish or inattentive. breaking a contract might not shatter a demon down to their soul like speaking a superior's name, but it can still shatter their body—and being rendered immobile and helpless until one is forgotten and finally fades away is perhaps worse than instantaneous death.
so, yes. he's only been a demon for a few months, but those few months had been spent drilling into him the importance of contracts. )
In the future, if it's something you actually really care about, you should try to be more careful.
I know it's probably not the exact same for you, but where I'm from, breaking a contract is one of the only things that can permanently harm a demon.
That's why getting the terms in writing tends to be safer, especially if you're the one writing it.
( and he knows how blasé you are about contracts, kazuya... he remembers how you offered one basically right after meeting him )
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[Hm... What is he trying to say?]
I've never tried to break a contract, though. And honestly, I've just agreed the two I did agree to.
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it's almost like he cares or something. not that he'd ever admit it. )
But what if you agree to a contract that was impossible to keep from the beginning?
( makoto actually uses this technique to shatter J's brother's body in the second book... but that's after his current canonpoint )
Obviously that's not really the issue here, but...
It's just important to try to think every angle through, especially if it's something important.
Like for this contract, if you didn't want this information to get out, you would have wanted to include the House because it was going to go to them anyway.
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You're right though. Though I doubt the House would have agreed on it. Though having any sort of contract with them kind of makes me feel icky, if you know what I mean.
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No, I don't, really.
I haven't really had the privilege of feeling comfortable in any of the contracts I've been bound by.
Sometimes you don't really get that choice.
( even when he dictated the terms of the one that had bound J to him when he was human, he'd still known that his death was waiting at the end of the line. as utterly morose as he had been at the time... he, like basically every human before him who contracted with a demon, still drug his feet at the end, wanting to draw it out as long as possible. it's natural to fear death, even if it might also be considered a relief or release. and all the contracts that had bound him in hell prior to coming here had been those where he was the subject—essentially chattel transferred between demonic masters, his fate contingent on how well he worked.
as amusing as this had all started out, a lot of their conversations tend to veer in a direction that just makes it that much more apparent to makoto how wildly disparate their positions and situations are—and how much shorter his end of the stick is. he wants to try to navigate away from it. he doesn't want to resent his friend, even in part, but interior pain and envy are challenging to entirely dissociate oneself from. )
Well, everyone in the resort knowing near-exhaustive intimate details about your dick is the price you get to pay for not thinking it through this time.
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[That Makoto is telling him this. That Makoto has been forced into and through these things, and hasn't had any choice.]
I'm sorry you've gone through all of that. I hope it doesn't extend to this place too.
[And he means it, genuinely, though Makoto can probably reasonably guess there's no ill-intent in any of his messages.]
I'll definitely be more careful in the future.
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( ...you know, too many of their conversations end up like this... it's making him feel self-conscious. yes, sure, of course, we know that his life sucks by this point and that kazuya's life also sucks in a slightly different way, but he ended up with far more power and ability and also got to kill god. we've got all that!
he'd rather like to move past it. )
So, how does it feel to be partially famous?
( "partially" here of course referring to just his dick )
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What???? Really
I want to see it!
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I'm going to laugh regardless because this whole situation is ridiculous.
Don't you think it's better to just show me and get it over with?
( otherwise, makoto is going to have to begin plotting to get his hands on this poem himself, and do you really want that? )
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What exactly would you have me do, Your Majesty?
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Eugh. This is not what he wanted to ever find out about himself. ]
Depends on what your offering in return for my embarrassment.
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That's not really how this works.
I don't know how much this embarrassment is worth to you.
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[... He doesn't even know what he'd ask for.... :( He's pretty content as he is.]
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Is giving you free reign on whatever you'd like to do to me not enough?
Or... whatever you'd want me to do to you. Whichever.
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[... He must have real faith that Kazuya is in fact, a nice guy. Not to be confused with a Nice Guy(TM)]
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Don't get too excited. This would be a one-time offer.
And, I don't know. I can be pretty generous to those that I like.
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